By Jeffrey Gitomer
How do you greet your customers?
Does this greeting sound familiar?
“I’m either on my phone or away from my desk.”
No kidding. Pathetic.
“No, no, Jeffrey,” you say. “I tell people what day it is.”
“It’s Monday, and I’ll be in meetings in the morning, and I’ll be in and out of the office in the afternoon.”
Still pathetic.
I don’t care what you’re doing. I called to talk to you.
The voice message is America’s sales enigma. Everybody has one, and 9,999 out of 10,000 of them are pathetic.
Why do I need to know that you are away from your desk? Why do I need to know that you’re in a meeting? Why do I need to know what day it is?
Answer: I don’t need to know. I don’t want to know. What I want is to get you on the phone. That’s why I called.
Many companies have two-step voice-mail systems. A computer answers the phone and informs me that for my “convenience” or to serve me better I can select from the following nine options. So by the time I finally reach your silly voice-mail message, I’m annoyed times two.
Then there’s the added element of rudeness when I call and ask for you, and the live attendant sends me directly to your voice mail without having the courtesy to tell me you’re not there.
Pardon my rant, but what I’ve just given you is a solid reason for your customer to go to your competition, where the people might be friendlier and more helpful.
Let’s get back to you and your pathetic voice-mail message. Your voice mail is a key to getting new customers and creating word-of-mouth advertising.
Here are 7.5 ideas to spice up your voice mail so that someone might tell someone else to call you just to hear your message:
1. A short message about the value of your product — a hint or tip. For example, tell me one thing I can do to profit from the use of your product. Change the message weekly.
2. A thoughtful quote. The Internet can provide you with millions. This must be changed daily.
3. Celebrity impersonation. Find someone who does voices — or do a bad one yourself. Rodney Dangerfield: “I can’t get no respect — but you can get a returned phone call!”
4. Your kid. “Hi, I’m Dave’s costly accident, Jason. He’s out earning my college tuition. You can help by leaving a message that includes an order.”
5. Something funny. Say this in a weary voice: “I’m just one man, and it’s a big world.”
6. Something funny about your product or your business: “Hi, you’ve reached Tom. I am out saving the world one box at a time. Please leave a message, and I’ll try to find a cardboard carton to save your world.”
7. A testimonial from a customer. Imagine having one of your best customers say something like, “Hi, I’m Dave Smith from ABC Plumbing. Joe is over here right now taking care of our account as he has for the past 10 years. Please let him take care of yours.”
7.5. Something off the wall. The reason I saved this for the end is that many people are uncomfortable going off the wall and many bosses are uncomfortable with off-the-wall messages, and sometimes the customer won’t like an off-the-wall message. But off-the-wall messages will be talked about the most. “Hi. I am probably here. I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.”
My message? Always off the wall. My current cellular phone message is, “Hi, this is Jeffrey. I wish I could talk to you, but I can’t. Please leave your American Express card number with expiration date, and I’ll get right back to you.”
Now that may seem crazy, but three people a day leave their American Express number. It’s fun, it’s memorable and it isn’t offensive.
Four more rules:
1. Make the message short, 35 words maximum.
2. Script it. Rehearse it. Then record it.
3. Change the message often. Weekly is best.
4. Listen carefully to the callers’ comments. They will tell you how good — or bad — your message is.
If you claim to be different from your competition, a great place to start is with your recorded phone message.
οΎ© 2003 Jeffrey Gitomer
