But for real, some people should just leave the bikinis on the rack. Some women just have too much 'junk in the trunk' or the 'biggest box in the world I ever saw'. Then there are the girls who try to wear 'A' cup bikini tops when they really could have used a 'D' cup.
I don't know what is worse, people who wear bathing suits that make them shape like an amoeba, or the drunken girls that go to the beach wearing 'batty riders' and mesh tops (only). Uh Uh. Throw those away! Don't wear that anymore. Someone told you that you looked good, but they lied to you!!!!
Ladies, you know you can do better than this. I feel really bad when I see these girls letting it all hang out and vulgarly gyrating on any man that is close to them. The extra 50 pounds are already against you.
Bear in mind that a lot of families go to the beach with their children. The last thing that parents want their children exposed to is you: drunk, half-naked, and with all your stuff hanging out. These kids want to live to see puberty, not have a view of puberty gone totally wrong.
The other day a friend of mine saw a slender young lady on the beach in what she thought was just a simple bikini, but it turned out to be a thong. Just because you're small, does not mean that you can bare it all. That was just a bit too much information for public consumption.
No-one wants to go on the beach in a dress or jump-suit, but you have to take some class with you when you go. This is a time when you can unabashedly show some skin but, some people just take it too far. You can just find a bathing suit that will flatter your figure, not ones that would make your Mama deny you. You can look good on the beach without looking trashy.
For girls who are full-breasted or top heavy, you don't have to look like your left your body at the other end of the beach. Look for bathing suits with square necklines and wide straps, or ones that have a built-in bra that would encircle your entire torso. Man, if you need the support, don't pretend that all is well in the land. Get the support!!!
If you happen to have a heavy upper body, find a V-neck swimsuit. If you don't have the curves, this swimsuit can create that look and slenderise your shoulder area.
For persons who have that pear-shaped physique, for goodness sake, balance the body's budget. Look for two-coloured suits that feature light colours or patterns on top, and dark colours on the bottom. This will work for you and help to balance out that figure. You can even tryout the skirt suit, which will make you look kinda cute and feminine. Now you know there are a lot of Bahamian women who are walking around with thunder thighs (big legs). Not a problem. In fact the majority of Bahamian men like a little thunder with their thighs. It's just up to the ladies to know how to make the lightning flash from them. Persons with thick thighs or varicose veins should look for swim suits with low-cut legs. They can also turn a scarf into a sarong and tie it around the waist or hips; or just purchase the bathing suits that come with a sarong.
Do your hips hang really low? Do you have a 'saggy' bottom? Come on, to thy own self be true. The only advice I have for you is for you to stay away from skimpy suits with high-cut legs. Forget it, they're not for you, and they'll never be. Don't do it. It's okay if you feel comfortable in your own skin, but don't make others around you feel uncomfortable. Make the beach a happy place.
For the ladies who have no waist at all, they are what the fashion industry describes as persons with the 'H' shape or someone in need of the illusion of curves. Your best bet actually, is to find a two-piece suit, but if you wear a one-piece bathing suit, look for details such as bold colours, piping and princess seams that fake curves. Avoid solid-coloured tanks that give no shape, and stay away from stripes…..please.
Do you have more handles than love? The bathing suit that can best hide that tummy without the tuck, is the tankini, which covers your stomach but helps minimise it at the same time. You can also try a one-piece asymmetric top with a low-rise bottom or high-waist bottom with a belt to handle that dancing belly. The belt will give the illusion that your stomach is smaller than it actually is.
And for you ladies with little or no bounce in your bras, it is plain and simple. Get that padded bathing suit and give yourself some cleavage!
By: Vanessa C Rolle, Lifestyles Reporter, The Nassau Guardian
